There I am. A dazzling smile, looking straight at the camera. A child known for having social skills, but all I remember is discomfort. I played the part, though, in that strange coalition of people. At least for a while. When I found a way to relax, I finally gave up the charade. Blindly pursuing the strongest impulse I had ever felt. The emotional relief was immeasurable. Now, I needed no-one. Even life-threatening consequences were obscured by the buzz. Desperately, I tried to silence the nagging about the harm I caused. Detached, chemically mind-altered, I left the realm of the humane. Was I sick? I simply know this – no healthy human being would do what I did. This is a tale of miraculously cheating Death and, Dear Reader, of what happened when I had managed that. Then I tell of the beginnings of making things right in my world. “This is a strong narrative that should be of interest to most people. A book that even youngsters ought to read, so that they never become seduced by romanticized descriptions of narcotics or alcohol.” (Citation from booklet #12121088) Pia Holmström, Reader, BTJ, the Swedish Library Service